TEARS OF JOY BEFORE THREE

My last day at the prison was on Tuesday, September 18. I will be starting a new job as a hospice chaplain in Fort Walton Beach on October 1. I said goodbye to a lot of the inmates on that last day amidst many a tearful eye. God granted me over two and a half challenging and fulfilling years to impact these men for the betterment of their lives. I loved and taught them with the love of Jesus. And they knew it. I loved and taught without judgment, without condemnation, and with mercy and compassion. I will miss them greatly and will pray for them daily. I know God used me there in powerful life-life changing ways, but I also know that my time (His time) for me there was finished. I also made some amazing lifelong friends in the Education department whom I love dearly and will pray for them daily as well. We really needed each other and were always “there” for each other.

I will share the sad goodbyes in a future blog. For now, I want to share a true miraculous story that happened in July.

JOHN M. (Not his real name)

John (a former student in my Substance Abuse class) was due to be released in 3 days (a Friday). There was something special about John. I knew in my heart he was not going to be a victim of recidivism. It seemed that everything was worked out with his case manager and release specialist regarding his new start at a halfway house in Jacksonville. He was really excited about this possibility. He knew he had to start a new life away from the Miami lifestyle influences that got him in trouble in the first place. Three days before his release (on Wednesday), he got word that the halfway house wouldn’t accept him.

I spoke with John’s case manager that morning and she told me that it’s just not going to work out for him. She was devastated and so was I. But I knew in my heart God wasn’t finished with John’s story. He, his case manager, and release specialist worked so hard to get him in. As hard as it was, they just accepted the fact that door was closed.

Later that day John stopped in my classroom freaking out about his situation. The bottom line was that the prison transport bus would have dropped him off in Daytona Beach (where he was arrested) at 2AM where he knew no one, had no friends or family there and had $50 to his name.

During his rant, I knew God wanted me to pray for him. So, I said loudly, “John, sit your ass down and let me pray for you!” John said he didn’t know former chaplains spoke that way, we laughed, and I replied that it got his attention! So…he snapped sat! As I started to pray for him, I felt a Holy Spirit faith well up inside me that I have rarely felt. I even started to get teary eyed as I was praying. So did John. When I finished praying we both sat there stunned as if we had both entered another dimension. Then God gave me the faith to say to John, “Before 3 o’clock tomorrow, you will be crying tears of joy.” He was a bit doubtful at first, but I repeated it and told him to have faith. I can’t believe I even said that! I was really putting God on the line but I knew in my heart He was going to come through.

The next day, Thursday, I’m sitting in my office and his case manager comes barging in exclaiming that John got into the halfway house in Jacksonville, but John didn’t know yet. I told her that I prayed for him the day before and I knew God was going to open that door.

As I was ready to go home that afternoon, I went to look for John in his dorm and he wasn’t there. I was upset that I might not see him before his release the next day because we’re never certain when the transport bus might leave. Before I left for the day I had to drop some things off in the Education office. As I was on the walkway to the Education building, where John’s release specialist was, he was coming out another door, sees me, and starts yelling my name, jumping up and down, with tears in his eyes! He had just found out that he was going to Jacksonville! We both had tears in our eyes and he was amazed at the grace of God and he thought I had this supernatural “4G LTE” connection with God! I assured him that was Jesus’ love for him and that he can have that same connection as he moves forward with his life, and encouraged him to continue to live his life for Him. We hugged (which we’re not supposed to do) and I wished him God’s blessings and reminded him what I told him the day before that before 3 o’clock this day he would be crying tears of joy. It was 2:40.

Prison Break-Through 2017

December 2017

One thing I can say about prison ministry in 2017 is that it was challenging. Not so much with the men I work with as much as the company I work for. The prison where I work is privately owned and operated but still has to adhere to Florida Department of Corrections (FDOC) standards plus their own…which makes things doubly stressful! 

When I started as a Substance Abuse Counselor in August of 2016, we were a Preventative program and I was the only counselor with oversite of about 50 men. By the time December of that year rolled around, I was responsible for over 160! 60 guys twice a day in one big room plus, at the same time, 20 guys twice a day in a smaller room…and I had to bounce back and forth to teach and take attendance. The prison was planning to transition to an “Intensive Outpatient Program” that is clinical in nature and is basically an evidence based Cognitive Behavioral Change program. Well…in April of this year we finally transitioned, hired 4 additional counselors, one supervisor who lasted two months and recently brought on a new supervisor who is doing an outstanding job. The new pressures come with the extraordinary amount of paperwork and follow-up materials. All a part of the job.

I have two 90 minute classes in the mornings and the afternoons are designed for one-on-one psychosocial interviews, follow-up monthly reviews, and administrative catch-up. I love teaching these men! God uses me to allow them to “escape” prison for 90 minutes a day. About ½ of both of my classes don’t want to graduate even when they are finished with their 6-month commitment. When we started the classes, most of these guys didn’t know one another and it was difficult for them to open up. Now, I can’t shut them up! (In a good way!) It’s like God has built a community and these guys know that I genuinely love and care for them with the love of Jesus. (Many still call me “Chap” from when I was the Assistant Chaplain.) We laugh together, share life together, talk sports, and most of all learn how to overcome addictions.

One of the most difficult things about working in the prison is how security trumps everything. And it ought to. Staff and inmate safety is top priority. Twice during our work day, the compound stops for “count.” Count is when every inmate is counted and must be accounted for. There is no movement, men are locked in their bunks, and students cannot leave their classrooms. Unfortunately, most days, there needs to be a recount and that could take a total of two and a half to three hours! So, oftentimes my second class pays for it as we hardly have time to meet while my first class (after the lesson is complete) waits around until count clears. Those times of waiting are actually some of the best times to get to know these men. They’re always asking me questions about God, life, religion, Jesus…real deep life stuff.

Anyway, one day I felt like I needed to apologize to my 2^nd class for the lack of time they have for meaningful lessons. One guy, let’s call him Harvey, shot up from his seat and said, “Are you kidding me? You have no idea how much you have been teaching us! You teachin’ us ‘bout life Chap! You teachin’ us enough so that when we get on the other side of these walls, we can overcome anything…if we were really listening and interacting with you.” I was stunned. As I looked around almost the whole class was nodding in agreement and a few even threw in some “amens” for good measure. It was a very humbling experience.

Since the program change, one of the highlights has been the regular one-on-one interviews I have with the men in my case load. This is an amazing opportunity to get to know the guys on a deeper level. We talk about their fears, successes, failures, dreams, family, friends, and life in general. To hear some of these stories is heartbreaking. Being in the “underbelly” of a prison changes an outsider like me who had preconceived notions about those incarcerated.
 

I’ve had the privilege of doing more “chaplain stuff” now than I did when I was the Assistant Chaplain! Guys come into my office for prayer. I’m getting them connected with Christian groups on the outside when they are released. It’s been amazing to see how God is working to change the hearts of some of these men. Yes, some are hard-core criminals who are paying for their crimes, but they are still human beings who do deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Others are lesser-core criminals who have maybe one conviction and sincerely desire to change and never want to get back in blue once released.

So many times I hear from these guys that if, God forbid, something like a riot ever broke out on the compound they would “have my back.” That can be pretty comforting since there’re a lot more inmates than Correction Officers! I praise God that He has allowed me to earn their trust.

The bottom line is that these guys know I don’t judge them and I don’t condemn them (the system has already done that!). I love them as they are, not as they should be…with the unconditional love of Jesus. And they know the Author of that love is Jesus.

Psalm 107:14-16 

He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom; he snapped their chains. Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. For he broke down their prison gates of bronze; he cut apart their bars of iron.

Please pray for prisoners. I sense that for 90 minutes a day, 5 days a week, God is using me to metaphorically lead them out of darkness and gloom and break down their prison gates and cut their bars of iron…with life, laughter, and lessons.

A Christmas Prison Breakthrough

Christmas 2016

 

A few weeks ago I asked my 2 substance abuse classes if they would mind if I practiced my sermons for them. I also said if just one guy doesn’t want me to, I’d respect that. It was unanimous…they wanted me to preach. Our last class was Monday of last week so I preached a Christmas message on “Emmanuel, God with Us.” 

     

As I was driving to the prison that morning, God spoke to my heart and said, “I want you to hug each inmate in your classes as they leave class.” I was like, “Really God?! That’s 60 men plus per class! Seriously…some guys have real hygiene issues!” 

“Just let me do My work,” was the response I got. 

So, I started my message by saying that I understand how lonely a time of year this for a lot of the men. Family might be too far to travel, some families may have disowned you, etc. As I got into the message during the first class, there were a ton of interruptions, even at the end of class there were some security issues happening in another classroom. There was no way I could have hugged these men as they left. (This kind of stuff is commonplace at prisons. Security trumps everything.) 

So, during my lunch-break I prayed. I basically said, “If You mean what You asked me to do, then please close interruptive doors and let me do what You asked.” 

Well, during the second class I started the message out the same way. Then I felt a special unction from the Holy Spirit. Preaching stuff that wasn’t even in my message, etc. Suddenly God took over! Not even one interruption except for count (that’s when security has to come into each classroom to count inmates). As I continued to preach, I started to notice quite a few misty eyes. I was somewhat shocked. The whole time, it was so quiet that you could practically hear a fly’s wings flap. 

A summary of what I preached included statements like, “You are not alone. God is with you. Always has been. He loves you so much. No matter what you have done in the past doesn’t change the depth of His love for you. He loves you for who you are not how you are. Don’t let this place harden you to the love of God in Jesus. He was born, died and rose from the dead to give you life, a new start, a clean slate. No matter how tough you think you are, God wants to rejoice over you with a happy song.” (Zephaniah 3) 

As my message was coming to a close, I told them what God wanted me to do. Hug them all. I mentioned that this might be the only hug some of them get during Christmas. I also explained that if anyone didn’t want a hug, just walk by me and say, “pass.”   

I finished my message about 20 minutes before class ended. They just talked among themselves for the time remaining. Well, as the classes were getting ready to be released, one guy yelled out, “Time for those hugs Chap!” (Many of the guys still call me Chap from when I was the Assistant Chaplain.) So I stood by the door and started the hugging process. Some of the men were crying with tears of joy and appreciation. I never saw anything like it! One guy, nestled his head on my shoulder, with tears in his eyes, said, “Thank you Chap. God bless you Chap. I love you Chap.” It was so hard for me to contain myself. Only one guy out of 60 “passed!” 

Then came this one old guy. They call him Turtle. He reminds me of the Tim Conway old man character from the Carol Burnett Show (if you’re younger than 40, google it). Turtle never took care of himself. I found out later he only showered once a week. His prison clothes were stained with food and who knows what. So I gave him a hug, and he went on his way. 

Needless to say, I practically floated out of that prison! For the first time in my life I felt the manifestation of Jesus in a supernatural, yet practical way. It was as if He was hugging them through me. I never felt like this in my life.

 

On the next day, Tuesday, there were no education classes but there were chapel call-outs. As I was sitting in my classroom alone, preparing lessons for the following week, one of the guys (let’s call him Johnny) from my afternoon class came bursting into my classroom. He was excited to tell me something. (Johnny had given his life to Christ a few years ago in prison.) 

He went on to say, “When I came up to you for the hug, I don’t know if you noticed I was crying.” I said, “I did notice.” I also pointed out that God was moving in such a powerful way that he wasn’t the only one! Johnny affirmed that he saw some of the other guys too. Then he tells me that when he saw me hug Turtle (from whom everyone stays away) he had an idea. He wanted to be Turtle’s caretaker! He goes on to tell me that earlier in the morning he approached the Lieutenant responsible for housing. He explained that he wanted to be Turtle’s caretaker and knew he would need to change bunks in order to do that. He was instantly granted his request! (That is almost an impossible timeline in prison!) So, as of that afternoon, Johnny and Turtle were officially bunkmates! I told him that was awesome and now he can be the hands and feet of Jesus to Turtle! 

Oh, if we would just listen to that small still voice and not argue if it doesn’t go right the first time. God knows what He’s doing…duh. 

Well, this will be one of the most memorable Christmas’s ever. Seeing that prison classroom become holy ground, God taking over, and seeing one Turtle being loved with the love of Jesus. I thank God, the Master Potter, for using this lumpy pile of clay to make something beautiful…a vessel used for His good pleasure! 

Please pray for those incarcerated. I know what happened last Monday was a direct result of the prayers of God’s people. May He use all of us the same way as we allow the Potter to mold us and use us…lumps and all. Merry Christmas. 

Matthew 25:34-36“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I WAS IN PRISON AND YOU CAME TO ME.’” Jesus

Prison Break - June 2016

Breaking internal chains resulting in outward change.

June 2016

Pray for the incarcerated.

Well, it’s been over three months since I started as Assistant Chaplain at Blackwater River Correctional Facility in Milton, FL. Needless to say, it’s been a huge learning curve, is exhausting, absolutely rewarding, and a tremendous blessing. Just learning official prison language makes me feel like a missionary to a foreign country! To be chosen by God to do this awesome work is a privilege and honor.

THUMBNAIL

Here’s a sketch of my week and daily routines. I work at Blackwater River Correctional Facility from 7AM to 3:30PM Tuesdays thru Saturdays. And to keep my financial head above water, I also work from 6-10 at Walmart as a cashier every Tuesday and Thursday nights. I am exhausted the following days!

As soon as I arrive at the office, I hit the ground running preparing “callout” sheets for 6 daily services covering 25 different religious groups. Most of the groups are Christian in nature. While services are going on I am either catching up on administration, filling in for volunteers who can’t attend, meeting inmates for crisis calls, scheduling volunteers, visiting inmates in confinement, meeting with other staff members, or working on special religious needs for groups (Ramadan, Passover, Feast of Weeks, Christian holidays, etc.). Some of these groups have very strict dietary and change of schedule needs that the prison is legally bound to abide by. Communication with security, kitchen (which prepares over 6,000 meals per day), and the chapel need to be in strict sync in order for these occurrences to run smoothly.

TRUST ISSUES

It’s interesting to think that there were many men of God who, at one time or another, were imprisoned. Joseph, Samson, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, Paul, Silas, Peter and other Apostles, are just a few I can name off the top of my head. There are nearly 2000 inmates at Blackwater and believe it or not, quite a few genuine God followers.

During my 1^st week one of the Christian volunteers couldn’t come to teach. So, I figured God wanted me to fill in. There were about 40 inmates in attendance. I shared my testimony and my desire to allow God to use me with His gifts of compassion and discernment to help restore them to a place of dignity and honor as human beings. As Jesus has called me to be His prison ambassador, I take very seriously that as God sent Him, He fills me with His Spirit to express His love and healing… “He has sent me to heal the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound…” (Isaiah 61:1) A couple of days after that, an inmate who was in that session told me that the guys are really excited about God calling me there and that word was spreading like wildfire that God sent His man to do His bidding at Blackwater. I was honored and humbled by those words. It’s been downhill ever since! God is powerfully using me in the lives of these men as the walls of trust in me were clearly torn down! “…to open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and those who sit in darkness out of the prison house.” (Isaiah 42:7)

LOVE OVER JUDGMENT

There is a fine line here. After-all, they are criminals and some will try to take advantage of you every once in a while. That’s where the discernment comes into play. My first scare came in the form of a crisis call. I had to tell one inmate that his sister was killed by a drive-by shooting in Atlanta. She was not the target…“collateral damage.” My office is very small, and he stood up, yelled and pounded on my door, then screamed again, and pounded on my file cabinet. We were locked in, and I had my hand on my body alarm just in case. Nothing happened, but I felt so sad for him because there was nothing he could do about it. So it is with many of the inmates who lose loved ones…to watch their depth of sorrow that they can’t even go to the funeral of wives, mothers, fathers, siblings, etc., is so painful.  It’s times like that no matter how heinous the crime, love and compassion over judgment must prevail.

The story of Inmate “Jones”

Inmate Jones made an appointment to see me. Jones is a big guy…about 6’4, 300 pounds. He came to share how in the last 3 weeks he had been beaten twice and didn’t strike back. Beaten for his faith…his oppressors taunting him to turn the other cheek. One of those times he lost consciousness for a brief moment. He was struggling between reconciling the newness of his faith, knowing he must turn the other cheek, and wanting to “kill” these guys.  He said he just wants to love these guys with the love of Christ. He shared his story for such a long time, that the corrections officer called all inmates back to their dorms. I told him to come back tomorrow because I wanted to spend some time with him in prayer. Well, he showed up the next day, and 3 other on fire Christian inmates were in the chapel when he came in. God immediately put it on my heart to have all of us pray for Jones. So, Jones shared all he had been going through. The Holy Spirit did the rest. Each of the 3 men powerfully spoke into his life. Then we all prayed for him and were all in tears after I closed the prayer time. 2 of those 3 inmates who prayed were lifers convicted of murder. Changed men of God who have purpose in life and who seem more free than many of us outside those prison walls. Their souls are indeed out of prison. Hear their cries: “Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise Your name; the righteous shall surround me, for You shall deal bountifully with me.” (Psalms 142:7) Jones is doing fine, and God also answered prayers as he will be changing dorms next week.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Not all the inmates would you consider thugs. Some are brilliant businessmen; one is a former pastor. Others range from politicians to postal workers to entrepeneurs to high level blue and white collar employers/employees. One of the things I am learning is we are all just one stupid decision away from where they are. We are all human and we all have weaknesses. Some of us just get caught. Because of the grace of God, go all of us.

There have been a few adjustments. One is not being able to bring my cell phone onto the compound.  So if you try to text/call me between 7AM and 3:30 PM and I don’t respond right away, that’s why! The other surprising thing has been the amount of administration. At times I feel like I need a secretary! The good thing is I have an inmate who is my personal orderly and he has taught me so much about prison culture and is a huge help during the real busy times when other inmates are in the building for religious programs. The stories I have seem endless so starting next month I will do an “Inmate Focus” (with permission). It’s no surprise that I feel like I’m in prison 8 hours a day…because I am. But the door slams behind me at 3:30, opening up to God’s beautiful creation. And I have the freedom to go home to a welcoming dog and rest in the comfort of my own living room.

Prayer Requests

• ·         Ramadan for the Muslim community starts today and goes through July 6. There are many daily details that need to happen, so please pray for smoothness in transition.
• ·         Pray for inmate Jones…that there will be no communication glitches to move him and for angels of protection to surround him.
• ·         Starting Wednesday, the 8^th, the Chaplain will be away on vacation and I will be working 10 days straight, basically doing 2 jobs. Please pray for strength, clarity of mind, and patience.
• ·         Personal finances. The salary is really low and although I’ve never been in ministry for the money, it’s difficult to make ends meet…even with Walmart. God has provided miracle income from friends and former churches that have really helped to get me back on my feet. I am so grateful to God. Being without a job for over a year drove up a good amount of credit card debt that I cannot get out from under. I have been advised to file for bankruptcy but I need $1,600 up front to do that! So please pray for that provision. My credit is already horrible but filing for Chapter 11 is a good way for me to be able to start anew.

Thanks for reading! And thanks again for all of your support throughout the years. Blessings on you and yours!

Charlie Chaplain

“I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you visited Me, I was in prison and you came to Me.”

 (Matthew 25:36)